seven years ago today this beautiful child entered our lives, changing every thing. her capacity for love knows no end, her compassion and tenderness encompasses us everyday, her wisdom and knowledge astonishes us. most know her in fleeting moments of childhood but those who are around her and that get to experience her know that she is truly a godsend, a blessing, a woman wise beyond her years. she is beautiful both in and out, her smile can stop a room and her laughter can fill it. she means the world to us and to those who love her. lucy has taught us that being a child is not a disadvantage but allows her to teach those around her in ways that adults seem to lose over time. she has shown us new ways to see and hear the world, as well as how to experience life fully. so, today we celebrate her, we celebrate the day in which she chose to be in our lives, we celebrate so she will laugh and smile and feel loved, we celebrate because we feel so (freakin’) lucky to have this soul fill our hearts and our lives with all that is her. we love you miss beans, to the moon and back. xo
being a second time mom, i am getting to do all the things that i didn’t know i needed or wanted the first time around. as i prepared for the remarkable journey of birthing a tiny soul i was able to get more in touch with some of my asian heritage. i recently heard the term ‘mother roasting‘ (aka: a stay in or rest in) and completly immersed myself in research, turns out its exactly what my mother did with me. in filipino culture (and korean), post partum moms are given 30 days to heal, rest, and bond with their new born babes, they are served a special diet of soups, teas, meals that warm and heal the body. new moms are kept warm, given hot oil massages, warm herbs and salts are applied to the belly, avocado and guava leaves are used for steaming the bottom which promote blood circulation and healing.
i am also doing benkung wrapping this time around, with my first pregnancy it just seemed too overwhelming to take on with so many other new things like: nursing, healing, sleepiness nites but this time I am looking forward to the extra care and pampering. i have had a lovely friend encapsulate my placenta; placenta encapsulation benefits are so amazing and aid in so many ways that i’m bummed i didn’t know about it my first time around. i can definitely see the difference.
i most of all, i am fortunate enough to have a partner that is on board with making my postpartum healing a nurturing and loving experience and a mom who is willing to take care of the traditions that her foremothers have been doing for years. i am honestly thrilled to have 30 days of pampering and bonding with our new babe.
throughout this pregnancy my intention for labor and delivery has held steadfast, i have focused on a gentle, loving and painless birth, reminding myself there is no need for fear as i have done this before and that experience was completely doable. my spirit has been in a very internal place during this pregnancy causing for a lot of inner reflection, self compassion and love. its given me time to listen to the desires of my heart, to let go of exceptions, except a possible career change and remind myself that the universe is ever flowing. i thankfully found this book which gives me a bit of time everyday to focus on the importance of pregnancy and allows me to truly focus on the being inside of me.
i was also lucky enough to have been given a blessingway/baby shower a few weeks ago where i was surround by women who are wise, creative and supportive. my best friend, rhonda, hand poured candles for everyone to take home and to light once i go into labor, as a way to remind them to send positive thoughts my way. we also made a birthing necklace for me to wear while in labor as a reminder to me that i am surrounded by love and support.
so now i just wait, relishing in the quiet and stillness allowing these moments to naturally create a space that is loving and nurturing.
my journey with this pregnancy has tested me in every aspect: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. i have learn to let go of ideas, preconceived notions of what i should and shouldn’t be doing, letting of go the guilt of not be able to physically do the things i want and being so busy with raising already one child that quiet moments of meditation are few and far between (especially with a recent move, nesting, fighting a cold, etc…). today as i was driving to what could be my last midwife appointment i found myself resting upon a word : SURRENDER. to just let go and let things be. and of course during today’s appointment my midwife magically said, “pregnancy and labor is a wild thing that we just need to learn to surrender to.” affirmation accepted! so i as i frantically look over my house and see the several scuff marks on the walls that just need to be wiped down or the picture frames still in boxes that just need be hung, or the endless ‘to do’ lists that are lying around i am reminding myself to surrender, to just be with what is, to give it up to love and light with a smile.
last friday i planned a special day just for lucy and i before our family soon becomes four and she becomes an older sister. we have been studying about india for sometime now and the idea of mehndi really stood out for lucy. so on our special day i made us an appointment to partake in this traditional indian ceremony. lucy was so happy i thought that she might burst! it was truly a beautiful way to spend the day ; to welcome this new being into our lives and to bless our way as we both enter a new chapter in our lives. definitely a moment i will forever cherish.
when dave and i decided to marry we also decided that we would renew our vows after 10 years, not out of want but out of necessity. the two of us got engaged 3 days after going out on our first date together, we just knew instantly that we had each found the partner we had been looking for. we instantly moved in together and started planning a wedding, eight months later we were married. we both knew at that the time that our promises to each other would deepen, grow and hold more meaning as the years passed. and so they did, through every twist and turn, bump and bruise, our marriage means more to us now then it did when we first started. our love for one another has changed, it is sweeter, stronger and today feels like it could hold for a thousand years.
so on our 10th anniversary, we renewed ourselves and our vows to each other in the presence of lucy, our growing baby in my belly and in front of our beautifully talented photographer and story teller friend, james. this is only part of our story and our marriage but thankfully its one of the sweetest.
last weekend was pretty incredible, so great in fact, that i am just getting back to blogging today. trying to get homeschool back in order, shopping for a new stroller, baby clothes and new place to live all while growing a little being is a lot of work, but after looking over these photos, i am reminded of what a special weekend it was. dave and i renewed our vows that day, lucy was our witness and well as our friend james who came to document the morning. i can’t wait to share the photos with you in the upcoming weeks.
we are fortunate enough to have family that will take lucy and give us uninterrupted time to celebrate our marriage. we are happy to say we live near an incredible city that has amazing food all around. i am lucky that even though stuffed, dave will order a dessert for himself because i can’t choose between the two. we had an incredible dinner at the whale wins, it was so good that we forgot to take pictures of our main course but behold the last image, eton mess, a beautifully light air dessert topped with the best meringue crumbles and the most perfect huckleberry compote, ever!
have a wonderful weekend and i will get back to regular blogging and more come monday (ish).
YEAR 10. how does one sum up 10 years of marriage? its hard, a lot more than work than you could ever expect when entering year one. there are moments of pure and utter bliss and then moments that make it hard to see past the next day. there are times of intense love and intimacy, times of pain and disappointments, times mostly filled with mundane everyday boring life stuff, but somehow the commitment to stick it through together always seems to shine its way through. at this point, i can say, we are champions of marriage, not by our own doing but by those who have stood by us, listened to us, loved us and carried us through some of these joyful and less joyful times. between the two of us there have been gives and takes, there have been laughter and tears, failures and triumphs, gains and losses but i wouldn’t give anything up for the treasure we have managed to hold onto together, the gift of a loving marriage. we haven’t perfected marriage, we still cause each other sorrow and heartache, we haven’t learned how to avoid a fight. but our promise to continue learning and keeping our intentions pure is what’s going to help us make it through the long haul. we are forever changing and growing, failing and rising. there is balance and at some point someone is the farmer tending the fields while the other is allowed to be nurtured and grow.
i feel blessed that our days start and end with ‘i love yous’. i feel lucky that dave still holds my hand when we walk, he still caresses my leg while he’s driving, that he listens to my endless chatter every nite before we sleep and that he is strong enough to say ‘i’m sorry’ first, on more than a 100 occasions. i can only hope that in the end we can always manage to laugh at ourselves, continue on the path of love and maintain who we are as individuals as well as celebrate who we are as a couple.
so, david kim, i love you with my entire being and soul. i knew from day one, it was always you. i hold this marriage as sacred. as we renew ourselves to each other this weekend, i know that this time the commitment is 10 fold of what it was the first time. you’re one of my favorites! xoxo.
last year i promised to start off every week with a list of lovely things that i was thankful for, i tried my best to keep that commitment but some times life gets ahold of things and most times life is better living than listing things on the internet, right? as i enter this new year with a sense of renewal and restoration, i am ready to get the lists going again (its really the virgo in me that needs this sort of fulfillment).
i would really love to hear about the things that make your day a bit brighter, what small things bring a smile to your face or what do you treasure the most about the world around you. blogging can feel so egocentric, when really i’d love to know who my readers really are and not feel like i’m this wizard behind a curtain. i encourage you to start your week with a moment of reflection on the week past and find those magical moments that make life like finding a $20 bill in a forgotten pocket. if you feel so inclined to comment, blog or share your lists please leave me a link i can follow in your journey this year.
-these cookies from our most used cookbook (we add a smashed banana to ours)
-shopping for tiny baby things
-making a must knit list
-finding moments of solitude with a cup of tea
-planning an anniversary getaway(!)
-glistening snow covered rooftops
after having over a week to think about intentions and hopes for the new year, i have decided to enter into this new year looking for answers to questions that have yet to be asked. being open to whatever is next and trying hard not to plan for what is before us. as a virgo and a mom my go to is to plan plan plan ahead and i can see that this sometimes hinders my ability to be open to change, so this year i’ll just let things come as they may; hunker down with the winter snow, family and then a new fresh baked babe in the spring.
this year i am grateful for all the things that 2012 brought and the answers/decisions that it made for us, we really needed a kick in the pants for change and a move. it taught me the power of marriage, the incredible joys of homeschooling and the blessings of living a slower, simpler life.