lately these day have been spent trying to figure out how i can be so sick during this pregnancy, all the old wives’ tales don’t help, all the pep talks don’t help, all the other stories from people knowing someone who had terrible morning sickness, don’t help. it has caused me to internalize things and taught me how to be kind to myself as well as let go of some guilt that this has brought up. i am feeling terribly guilty for growing a little being all while complaining about how miserable i am, the lying on the couch unable to homestead, the fits of crying that come about when its just all too much to take. i can only hope i am balancing the negative thoughts with positive thoughts of fresh baby smell, milk drunk sleeps, giggles and seeing lucy being a big sister. i also feel bad about not being able to bond with this beautiful soul growing in my belly because i am so consumed with just getting through the day, the vomiting, the fatigue, making meals, cleaning and homeschooling. i am feeling pulled at all ends, still somehow not able to give my all to anyone, my family, or even myself. this pregnancy, although trying as it is, is teaching me something, most likely its a fact that i have been wrestling with my whole adult life, i can’t do it all, sometimes you can ask for help. so i am. i am inviting friends to come over. i am welcoming walks with neighbors. skype chats.
thankfully we are spending lots of time surrounded by family, who don’t mind the occasional gagging and find the humor in it all and are so excited about a new baby. but for now i’ll browse pinterest searching for maternity inspiration, nursery ideas and nail art, yes, nail art…i’m kinda crazy about it.
the fruits of our labor from last weekend’s pumpkin carving slumber party extravaganza! and this weekend we are hosting an herbal workshop where we will be learning how to make lotions, salves and balms from scratch as well as serving up lunch for some of our favorite people. i am really looking forward to it and can’t wait to share with you all next week. we will be also doing some last minute touches on halloween costumes (our little mountain town has a parade every year) and we can’t forget stocking up the bowls full of candy!
have a lovely weekend.
our home is fully halloween-ified, scary garland (template here), fake spider webs are up, bats, cats, witches and ghost fill our windows and our home is smelling of pumpkins, ginger and spices. this weekend we are headed to the brother’s house, as we do every year, to carve pumpkins, eat homemade mexican food, bake pumpkin muffins, eat treats and laugh, lots! i feel so fortunate to have such simple traditions for us and for lucy to look forward to every year; where the dining room table is covered in newspaper, pumpkin guts + the silliness never ends. may the spookiness find you this weekend!
our days have been spent dreaming of the fall and then soon to be winter. all i want is junk food: hot wings, hamburgers, mexican food (especially the stuff back home) and all sorts of embarrassing nonsense. every time i go into the city i think about all the missed opportunities with all my favorite places to eat, could be the crazy morning sickness causing me to go a little wacky or could be i just need a city filled weekend to eat! but in any case i am still making my morning green smoothies and trying my best not to drive to the store to buy and eat an entire bag of chips, dear lord, this pregnancy is odd.
after some long hard family talks, tears and broken hearts, pendleton has been rehomed. dave was the brave family member who met with a family of 6 eager to welcome our sweet guy into his new forever home, lucy and i stayed home and cried. although i am feeling much less stress and less put off by not having his doggy ways in my face everyday we are still sad, he was everything we wanted in a dog and more..this was not an easy decision. i am feeling terribly responsible for the whole thing and am heartbroken that since being pregnant my aversion to him was so strong it caused my family to make a difficult choice. so for right now we miss him, we hope the best for him and look forward to getting photos from his new family when he grows up to be one handsome guy but most of all we are just heartbroken by the whole thing. but nonetheless we will be thrilled to welcome a new baby come the spring and that’s really the main thing.
(please note that due to the delicate and sensitive nature of this post, comment have been closed. we are sure there are a lot of strong opinions about this choice but as a family we did what was best for all of us, including pendleton. thank you for your respect)
found via pinterest
life has been filled with some dutch babies, peach mango compote, finding our schooling groove and dealing with all day morning sickness, which confines me mostly to the house lately. on occasion we have lit the wood burning stove, made chai tea or a giant batch of apple butter or just pop in a video and cozy up together. lucy is really loving spirited away these days along with birthing videos, as she really wants to catch this baby!
i am ready to settle into fall, filling the house with smells of apples, pumpkins and spices as well as changing our dinner menus to stews, casseroles and soups with crusty breads. its amazing how much the seasons change our cravings for flavors and textures. i am also ready to sit down with some knitting projects, some of which have been sitting on my needles since last winter. oh my!
do you have any favorite fall recipes or knitting projects? please share. and i hope that as you settle in for the season that you are surround by warmth and love.
this blog is about to get real y’alls! we got ourselves the cutest most well behaved puppy in the universe, he’s so awesome in fact that he has caused a couple of our friends to have some serious dog envy. so the problem, you say?! i am having the worst morning (all day + nite) sickness and this sweet guy is actually making it worse! all he wants is love and all i want is not to touch or smell him, thinking about it actually makes my stomach turn. i am gagging and throwing up all day, trying my best to keep my distance from pendleton, but seriously this pup is a people dog! we have gone back and forth about getting rid of him, loaning him out or just waiting it out but i can’t seem to make a solid decision. i seriously can’t believe how much he grosses me out! i feel so bad for him as he did nothing wrong and everyday i do my best to pet and love on him so that he knows how amazing he is but once a day is about all i can handle. help!! anyone else out there experience this? what’s a girl to do?
we have ourselves an official first grader in the house. after a year of begging, debating and research we have decided to homeschool! which somehow seems less consuming than i first thought. this book help put my fears at bay and gave me some great perspective about what i should expect and what is realistic starting out. so we have made ourselves a plan, set some goals for the month and most importantly we are going to have fun, after all should learning be that? we aren’t following a specific curriculum but are following the unschooling model for learning and teaching.
here’s what our basic day is panning out to look like:
-story and discussion
-native american history:creating things out of clay, writing, drawing, reading
-king tut: creating a giant poster of information
-world map or anything of interest: music, dancing
of course the day will vary from here to there depending on the focus or any related subject that come up, lately there have been a lot of baby related videos happening, mostly on birthing babies. but as of late i am happy with the way things are going, no struggles, no pressure, just pure learning, questioning and finding answers.