miss beans // hawaiian day at the dentist
birdie // 11 weeks, those chubby calves
now that there are two little humans in our lives its amazing to see the similarities and differences between these two girls. they were composed of the same love but they each sing a different tune. this series will be a collection of memories for me and a reminder that no two children are alike, i will have to be mindful of my approach with each as one may not work for the other. i can see the beauty in each of these girls, marvel in the ways that they remind me of each other yet admire each for their own uniqueness. i feel blessed to be raising these women, these vessels of love, to be able to send them out into the world with power, strength, knowledge and lovingkindness is the dream. but for now i am just going to take in all the sweetness that childhood has to offer.
summertime is here and its also time for the the “i’m bored” to set in. so in hopes of squashing the repeated phrase we made of list of things to do, starting with BORED and then going from there. some are things lucy can do on her own (she’s 7), some for us to do together and some as a family. we have also signed her up for drama camp for the next 2 weeks, that’ll give her some time away from me and the baby, a break she surely deserves.
have any tips on the summer boredom blues? my 17yro niece recommended this science channel.
wise words said to me by lucy as tears streamed down my face unable to comfort her baby sister for almost the whole day. “the day is almost over,” she kindly said as she caressed my face, i looked into her wise eyes, thankful for her wisdom and for the reminder. this day was hard, not being able to console or put the baby down – was hard. but this day will pass and will be a day in history that i will soon forget, lost in chubby baby cheeks, gummy smiles and fits of laughter. but as i sit and type this with tears filling my eyes because i feel less, today i was unable to soothe this baby, i was unable to figure it out, my day was filled with crying, screaming and having to tell lucy over and over again to “just wait”. to wait to play, to wait for lunch, to wait to talk. this makes me feel less, for today i couldn’t manage both of my children, both of which needed me for completely different reasons. i know in my heart that what i am doing is the work of saints; raising children, loving them, being there for them and delusionally trying to live up to the expectations of the showered, sparkling clean house, ‘i can do all’ kinda of mom that is sold to us. i am not showered, in fact i am still in my pajama bottoms and i am trying to get dinner on the stove, i am not perfect and i never will be. i cry in front of my children and let them know that i cannot do it all. and in the end i am thankful that through all my imperfections, through all the uncertainties, through all the hard days, lucy has enough compassion to come comfort me and gently remind me that, “this day will pass, the day is almost over.” in those moments i come out of my self pity and realize that i must be doing something right.
“There are many different kinds of bravery. There’s the bravery of thinking of others before one’s self. Now, your father has never brandished a sword nor fired a pistol, thank heavens. But he has made many sacrifices for his family, and put away many dreams.”
“Where did he put them?”
“He put them in a drawer. And sometimes, late at night, we take them out and admire them. But it gets harder and harder to close the drawer… He does. And that is why he is brave.”
(Conversation between Mrs. Darling and Michael, from Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie)
i am forever grateful and delighted that our girls have you as a dad. happy father’s day!
for lucy’s birthday she requested a filipino feast including the dessert, so we made halo halo (aka: mix mix). we splurged and bought the fancy filipino ube ice cream, which was well worth the money. we followed this recipe , although i store bought most of the ingredients, borrowed a cool shaved ice doohickey from my sister in law and had everything all prepped by party time. it was a hit and we all decided that this will be our new summer treat.
seven years ago today this beautiful child entered our lives, changing every thing. her capacity for love knows no end, her compassion and tenderness encompasses us everyday, her wisdom and knowledge astonishes us. most know her in fleeting moments of childhood but those who are around her and that get to experience her know that she is truly a godsend, a blessing, a woman wise beyond her years. she is beautiful both in and out, her smile can stop a room and her laughter can fill it. she means the world to us and to those who love her. lucy has taught us that being a child is not a disadvantage but allows her to teach those around her in ways that adults seem to lose over time. she has shown us new ways to see and hear the world, as well as how to experience life fully. so, today we celebrate her, we celebrate the day in which she chose to be in our lives, we celebrate so she will laugh and smile and feel loved, we celebrate because we feel so (freakin’) lucky to have this soul fill our hearts and our lives with all that is her. we love you miss beans, to the moon and back. xo
last friday i planned a special day just for lucy and i before our family soon becomes four and she becomes an older sister. we have been studying about india for sometime now and the idea of mehndi really stood out for lucy. so on our special day i made us an appointment to partake in this traditional indian ceremony. lucy was so happy i thought that she might burst! it was truly a beautiful way to spend the day ; to welcome this new being into our lives and to bless our way as we both enter a new chapter in our lives. definitely a moment i will forever cherish.