photo james moes
A ritual we that we have kept as a couple with young children is our date nights. Even though we have yet to get back to the place where we go out alone on a regular basis or even at all, we still manage to get a date night in every week, Sundays are our nights in. Its never anything too fancy or planned, just simply allotting time for just the mister and I to be together without any interruptions (fingers crossed) after the girls go to bed. Once in a while we’ll cook or bake together or indulge in a fancy cocktail that we’ve been wanting to try and if we’re too tired to do anything we’ll just put on a movie and spend time cuddled together.
We both make space for this time; we don’t make outside plans, we unplug and try to clear or scrap the to do list beforehand. I can’t tell you how many Sunday nights we’ve spent with toys scattered across the floor and dirty dishes in the sink but our relationship trumps cleaning. One thing that we have learned is to make a simple plan during the day like what movie to watch (to keep the browsing online to a minimum), or talking about a pressing issue or simply just hanging out and being in love. Its a time for us to connect as adults, trying to put parenting aside so that we can make it just about us.
To create this ritual for yourself pick a day or evening where you have a chunk of time to allot for you and your partner. Let it be a place of love, refuge and fun. Create a space where you both are able to talk and be heard. Make a simple plan ahead of time and have an idea of what you want to do beforehand so that you’re not filling this time with “what do you want to do?”, “what do you want to watch?” “what should we make?”. Keep it easy. Uphold your partnership and love with dignity and reverence, let this time together be sacred and try to make this a weekly ritual. Love is everything.
I am sure that most of you with littles have had many a date night in, I would love to hear what you do. I have a good friends who put their kids to bed and make a big batch of nachos every Friday! Care to share some of your date nights in?