mindful living // no. 04

mindful living // workhouseblogBeing mindful of how we speak to one another is one thing that we really pay attention to in our home (and outside it as well); even when I was pregnant I was aware of the words I used and the kind of energy they held. There are certain words that we choose not to use in our home: ugly, fat, stupid, hate… just to name a few. Words hold a lot of power and even as an adult there are words that still seem to have a hold over me, ‘acknowledgement’ and ‘worthy’ are 2 I struggle with. Other family members have taken note of how our family speaks to each other and know that in our home we generally shoot for loving kindness and empathy.

“Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?”,  is a reminder we use to help of be mindful of how we choose our words, especially when things are frustrating or hard. It helps us be aware of the language we use and give us pause when we need it, to not speak out of anger or to say something spiteful just to be hurtful. It also reminds us of how we talk about others or describe one another. I grew up in a home where words were thrown out like cannon balls only to then later be regretted. I promised to give my family a different expierence to that of my own. I struggled with it in the early stages of my own marriage, especially when things got tough, hurting someone that I truly loved was the worst feeling. And then being married to someone who (then) was being overly cautious of what is said in an argument helped us both realized that we needed to find a balance in communicating. Staying vigilant about how we speak to each other has created harmony and peace in our family. And although we are imperfect and still say things that are hurtful and that need to be taken back, we strive to be clear with our words and the intentions behind them, filling them with honesty and love.

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2 thoughts on “mindful living // no. 04

  1. sd

    We have been using the true, kind, necessary rule in our household as well. Currently it’s actually only in use (read: necessary!) amongst grownups, but it has become the gospel. In pre-school, my kids learned to keep things in their mind that were hurtful and I actually think that idea permeated their being. Their words are much more measured than ours. Thanks for spreading the value of this communication style far and wide with your beautiful blog!

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    1. des Post author

      sarah,thanks so much for your support and comment. its amazing how much this has effected me on a personal level, especially when out with friends and gossip arises. happy to hear that we share the same gospel, gladly i am not surprised. x

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